I would like to thank everyone who has helped me with your kind words. I love you all, and appreciate your help.. sadly it isn't helping anymore. I am completely done with everything, I got my blade in one hand, and a bloody toilet paper in another. These past few days I have been feeling horrible.
A few days ago, my "girlfriend's" mother made us take a break due to irrational reasons. We still talked through ask.fm.. but I have made some careless mistakes which made my "girlfriend" mad and now we are having a real break. This made me severely depressed when I read this, I cried in the bathroom for 2 hours due to me being so emotionally unstable. I cried to the point where I was puking in the sink. The next day wasn't any better.
I now found out that she is now confused of her feelings for me. She doesn't know if she loves me and when I asked her friend if she can ask if she does love me, truly... No response. Here I am, my leg is all fucked up, my wrists all bloody in the bathroom crying. Both my palms are rusty due to the blood drying. She also said I wasn't suicidal since I always nagged on and on to my friends that I was going to kill myself but never did.. and other stuff.. I'm sorry for everything.
I have decided to bleed out, I don't have a gun or a bridge near by so I can't do any of those. I love you all, and please don't do I'm trying to do.. I don't know if I'll make through this.. I hope I don't. I'm typing this through my phone.. because I still have to clean up.. I love all of you and thank you all for your support.
I would like to clarify that she isn't the only reason why I'm doing this... There are thousands of other reasons as to why I am attempting to kill myself tonight. Stay strong and don't do what I did/tried.
Edit: I'm sad to say that I'm still here. I couldn't cut deep enough to hit a vein.. I'm not strong enough to cut as deep as I want, no matter how hard I tried.. guess I'm going to be wearing long sleeves for a while.. even though I only have two... still debating if I should take this down or no.. I don't care anymore.
I have this.. "pain" in my chest that's just sitting there.. I've had this ever since I woke up today. The pain is getting worse and worse.. it's becoming harder and harder to live. I.. I don't think I can do this anymore.